A Risk Worth Taking (Book 1) Page 9

“I was sort of seeing someone,” Hayden started. “Long story short, now I’m not.”

  “Sort of seeing someone?” Tag asked, squinting his eyes at Hayden.

  “We weren’t exclusive yet. But it seemed like it was headed that way. Anyway, I messed it up.”

  “How?”

  “I guess I let my fear get the better of me.”

  “Let me guess, you’ve had a bad experience in the love department. So, now you’re guarding your heart?”

  “That obvious?” Hayden smiled.

  “Afraid so,” Tag shrugged. “Don’t worry. I’ve been there. I found my last girlfriend in bed with my friend.”

  “Ouch,” Hayden cringed.

  “Yeah, but you know what? It was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  “How?” Hayden asked in shock.

  “Well, not only did I realize the girl wasn’t the girl of my dreams, but I also realized my friend wasn’t all that much of a friend.”

  “But, aren’t you worried that might happen again?”

  “So what if it does,” Tag shrugged. “I’ll know that person isn’t the person I’m meant to be with and I’ll move on to the next one. Yeah, it hurts at first. But do you know what hurts more?”

  “No,” Hayden answered honestly.

  “Being alone,” Tag said solemnly. “You see the way I see it is sometimes you have to experience heartbreak in order to experience love. Love is a risk. But it’s definitely a risk worth taking.”

  Hayden smiled at Tag. The man was the sweetest man she’d ever met in a club.

  “Thank you,” Hayden smiled.

  “You’re very welcome Hayden. Now, I get the feeling you might be headed towards being in a relationship, so I’m going to be a gentleman and walk away.”

  “I hope you find the girl of your dreams soon,” Hayden said.

  “I will,” Tag said confidently. “I believe that.”

  Hayden had already found the girl of her dreams. It was time she told Kate that.

  Chapter 15

  Hayden took Rachel to a late lunch at Vince’s. She still had to talk to her about apparently following in her footsteps.

  “I haven’t asked you about any boys in your life,” Hayden started. “Or girls.” Hayden smiled at her sister mockingly. She wasn’t sure to what extent her sister was following in her footsteps.

  “Boys,” Rachel clarified. “And yes, there a few.”

  Yup, definitely following in my footsteps.

  “I know Gabe told you to talk to me,” Rachel said seriously. “And you don’t have to. I’m always safe so you guys have nothing to worry about. Also, I’m not half as bad as you so there’s really no reason to be concerned.”

  “Hey! I’m not that bad!”

  Rachel glared at her sister pointedly.

  “Alright, I’m trying not to be anymore.”

  “Are you really going to tell Kate how you feel?” Rachel asked.

  “Yeah,” Hayden answered surely. “I don’t know how good I’m going to be at being in a monogamous relationship, but there’s only one way to find out. Hopefully it’s not too late.”

  “Don’t worry; it’s only been two days. I’m sure she’s still pining after you. That’s definitely a turnaround for you though. Going from being completely against love to being practically in love.”

  “I know. But, before my bad experience with Joslyn, I wanted to find love. I see what Mom and Dad have and I want that too one day. To have someone that loves you unconditionally and gets you one hundred percent.”

  “You think you’ll have that with Kate?” Rachel asked.

  “I feel like I already do. I just met Kate and I feel like I can tell her anything and not feel judged. She’s understanding and caring. She completely gets me even when I don’t really get myself.”

  “She sounds great,” Rachel smiled. “Maybe loves not so bad after all.”

  Hayden recalled what Tag said last night. It sounded like her sister could use the same advice. “Love is a risk. But it’s a risk worth taking.”

  Gabe told Hayden that Kate was working at the bar with Chester that night. She waited until closing time to go and meet her. They needed to talk.

  Hayden was a nervous wreck. She knew Kate wanted what she wanted. But what if it was too late? What if Kate realized Hayden was too damaged to be with?

  As soon as Hayden entered the bar, her fears were confirmed. Kate was leaning forward onto the bar talking to a beautiful red head.

  I know that look. She looked at me that way that first night at Vince’s. Is she seriously looking at this other woman the way that she looked at me?

  Hayden didn’t know how to feel. She was jealous, that was for sure. But she was also hurt, confused, and a little bit angry. She hadn’t thought that Kate would move on from her so quickly. It had only been two days since the last time the two had seen each other.

  Kate was so focused on the red head that she hadn’t even seen that Hayden was staring right at them. The bar was closing soon so it wasn’t that crowded. She should have seen her enter. Two days ago she would have noticed her the second she walked through the door.

  She’s flirting with her! They’re definitely flirting right now. And they’re not even hiding it. They’re just flirting out in the open for the whole world to see. Well, at least the whole bar.

  Hayden had finally had enough of watching the woman she was falling for talk to another woman. She was about to turn to walk out of the bar, when Kate finally saw her.

  Kate could tell that the blonde was upset. The look on Hayden’s face made her stomach turn. She was hurt. She never wanted to hurt Hayden.

  “Hayden, hey,” Kate said quickly.

  Hayden didn’t respond. She turned around and stormed out of the bar.

  “Hayden!” Kate called after her.

  Hayden started walking down the street, back to her car. She could hear Kate calling after her, but she couldn’t stop. She needed to get away from Kate.

  “Hayden! Hayden, would you stop?”

  “Why?” Hayden yelled.

  “Because I need to explain,” Kate said, finally catching up to the blonde.

  “You don’t owe me an explanation,” Hayden said emotionless. “She’s hot. Good job.”

  “Are you seriously mad at me right now?” Kate asked angrily. Her anger was quickly rising. This was the temper that she’d warned Hayden about.

  “Nope,” Hayden responded. “I don’t care. You can hook up with whoever you want, Kate. It doesn’t matter to me.”

  “This is what you wanted Hayden! Not me! You didn’t want a relationship with me!”

  “You’re right!” Hayden said, finally stopping to look at the brunette. “I didn’t want a relationship and you’ve clearly moved on.”

  Kate could tell that the woman was trying to act tough, but she could see the hurt still evident in her eyes.

  “Hayden…”

  “Look, it doesn’t matter, okay. We’re over. You’re free to see other people. We both are.”

  “Hayden, you have no right to be mad at me right now. You said you didn’t want a relationship, so you can’t be mad at me when another woman flirts with me.”

  “I’m not mad!”

  “Bull!” Kate exclaimed.

  “Kate what do you want from me? Do you want me to tell you that I’m mad that you were flirting with someone else? That seeing you look at her the way that you looked at me made me want to grab her by her hair?”

  “Why should you be mad to see me flirting with another woman when you clearly don’t want to be with me?”

  “Because I do want to be with you, okay!” Hayden blurted out.

  Kate looked taken back at the woman’s confession. “What?” she asked softly.

  “I met a great guy last night that I could have easily slept with but I didn’t and it was completely your fault!”

  “My fault?” Kate asked bewildered. “How is that my fault?”

  “Because you are in my
head all of the time now!” Hayden exclaimed. “All I can think about is you, Kate! You are on my mind twenty four seven and it sucks!”

  Kate didn’t know how to respond. She stared back at the woman in awe. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She thought for sure that Hayden only saw her as a hook up. At least that’s what the blonde had led her to believe.

  When Kate didn’t respond, Hayden sighed and started walking down the street again.

  “Where are you going?” Kate asked in surprise. “You can’t just say something like that and then leave!”

  “Just forget it!”

  “You see Hayden that is the problem!” Kate yelled, walking behind the woman. “You’re always trying to hide your emotions. You don’t open up to people.”

  “I opened up to you!” Hayden exclaimed, turning around and staring at the woman.

  “No, you didn’t! You refuse to have any real feelings for me because you’re afraid I’m going to hurt you like Joslyn did!”

  “You’re wrong!” Hayden exclaimed emotionally. Tears were building in her eyes. She was on the verge of crying. “I’m not afraid that you’re going to hurt me like Joslyn did. I’m afraid of losing you. I have real feelings for you, Kate. Feelings that I’ve never felt before. The thought of things not working out between us and you not being in my life, at least as a friend, scares the hell out of me.”

  “Hayden, you can’t predict the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen between us. But, I know that there won’t be anything between us if we don’t try. I can’t just be friends with you. It’s impossible. You are the most special, sweet, sometimes frustrating, funny person that I have ever met. I don’t want to be your friend, Hayden. I want to be so much more than that.”

  The tears building up in Hayden’s eyes finally fell. She couldn’t hold it in any longer. If she wanted to be happy, she would have to give in to everything that she was feeling. Kate stepped closer to Hayden, softly wiping away the tears from Hayden’s cheeks.

  Hayden melted into Kate’s touch. She had feared that she would never be this close to the woman again.

  “Please don’t cry,” Kate whispered, caressing Hayden’s cheek.

  Hayden held her breath, trying to get the tears to stop flowing. It was like all of the emotions she was feeling just rushed to the surface. It was overwhelming.

  Green eyes gazed into brown eyes. Hayden bit her lower lip, glancing down at Kate’s lips. She wanted this with Kate. She had to show that to her.

  Hayden moved forward, holding Kate’s face in her hands. She looked into Kate’s eyes and smiled softly. “You ARE so much more than that.” Hayden pushed forward and did what she’d wanted to do for the past two days. She kissed Kate.

  Chapter 16

  Hayden and Kate spent the night at Kate’s apartment. They spent a great part of the night having sex with each other. Kate had fallen asleep, but Hayden found herself unable to join the brunette. She was too excited about being back together with Kate. The thought of a future with Kate brought butterflies to her stomach, only this time it was the good kind of butterflies.

  Things between them felt different now. Sex didn’t feel like sex anymore. It felt like so much more.

  It had been so long since sex had meant something to Hayden. It was a different feeling altogether. Sex was great. But when there were actual feelings for the other person, it was a stronger feeling. It felt more sensual and less sexual.

  I can’t screw this up. I need her in my life. She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. I don’t ever want to lose that.

  Hayden turned her body towards the sleeping brunette. She smiled as she watched Kate sleep. She could watch her sleep forever. She looked so at peace.

  I can make this work. We belong together, I truly believe that. Just remember, love is a risk. But it’s a risk worth taking.

  Kate slowly opened her eyes and found green eyes staring at her. She smiled as she realized Hayden had been watching her sleep.

  Hayden smiled back. “Good morning,” Hayden said.

  “It’s a very good morning,” Kate replied.

  Kate leaned in and kissed the blonde gently. “How long have you been up?”

  “Truthfully, I never fell asleep.”

  “You should have woken me up,” Kate said.

  “I couldn’t. You looked so peaceful.” Hayden rolled over onto her stomach, resting her head on her arms.

  “That’s because I knew you were lying right next to me,” Kate replied. “Was something bothering you that made it so that you couldn’t sleep? You didn’t change your mind about us did you?”

  “No,” Hayden professed. “I’m not going to change my mind. I want this Kate.”

  Kate moved closer to the blonde and kissed her shoulder as she rested her arm on top of the woman’s back.

  “So, then we’re really doing this? You and I are dating exclusively? No more one night stands? Just the two of us in a committed relationship?”

  “Yes,” Hayden laughed. “You, Katherine Martel, are my girlfriend.”

  “I like the sound of that,” Kate said excitedly. “I’m your girlfriend. We’re girlfriends.”

  “You better believe we are,” Hayden smiled. “So no more talking to red heads in bars.”

  “Oh well then no more talking to guys that give great advice,” Kate responded sarcastically.

  “Agreed.”

  “I hate to bring it up, but have you decided about New York yet?”

  “Not yet. As much as I want to stay, there’s still a part of me that wants the job.”

  “It’s everything you’ve been working towards,” Kate said.

  “It is, but it’s not everything to me anymore,” Hayden sighed. “I have you now.”

  “I’ll still be here, whatever you decide,” Kate insisted.

  “Long distance would be tough.”

  “We’ll make it work, Hayden. I can come see you in New York. You can come see me here. I want you to be happy and if this job will make you happy, then I think you should take it.”

  “Have I told you how amazing you are?” Hayden asked softly.

  “I believe I heard you moaning something like that last night,” Kate joked.

  Hayden blushed as she dropped her face into her pillow. She had gotten a little more vocal last night. Her excitement had gotten the better of her.

  “Is that modesty from Hayden Kovacs?” Kate joked. “You definitely didn’t have that last night.”

  “Sorry,” Hayden said into her pillow.

  “Hey, don’t apologize. I thought it was hot. It was great for my ego. I figured I was good, but I didn’t know I was that good.”

  “You’re not just good, you’re amazing,” Hayden said, raising her face from her pillow.

  “So you’ve said,” Kate laughed.

  “You really are,” Hayden said, moving as close to the brunette as she could. She kissed Kate on the lips, caressing her cheek.

  Hayden slowly maneuvered Kate onto her back. She pulled the sheet that was on top of them a little lower, exposing Kate’s breasts.

  “You’re amazing,” Hayden breathed as she kissed Kate’s lips. Hayden lowered her lips to Kate’s neck. “Beautiful.” Hayden kissed Kate’s neck, sucking on her sweet spot. “Caring.”

  Hayden kissed Kate’s right breast before wrapping her whole mouth around it, sucking on it gently.

  Kate moaned at the sweet assault. She could feel her arousal rising already.

  Hayden released Kate’s breast, raising herself up so that she could look down at the woman of her affection. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” She kissed Kate one last time before trailing several kisses down the brunette’s body.

  Hayden pushed Kate’s legs apart, lifting up the thin sheet so that she could look up at Kate. Kate bit her lip as she watched Hayden wrap her hands around Kate’s thighs, pulling her as close to her as she could.

  Hayden looked up at the woman that was now her girl
friend as she kissed her thigh softly. She lowered her head and slid her tongue up Kate’s slit.

  Kate arched her back as she instinctively reached down, placing her hands over Hayden’s hands. She wanted to feel as close to the woman as she could.

  Hayden focused on the small bundle of nerves that she knew would send her over the edge.

  “Hayden,” Kate moaned out.

  “Yeah, babe?” Hayden asked, still using her tongue on the brunette’s clit.

  “I need more,” Kate moaned.

  Hayden smiled as she realized the woman wanted more from her to bring her over the edge.

  “What was that?” Hayden asked jokingly.

  “Fingers!” Kate breathed out, frustration evident in her voice.

  “Why didn’t you say so?” Hayden joked.

  Hayden pushed two fingers into Kate, still gently sucking on her clit.

  Kate cried out at the sudden intrusion, hips’ buckling at the thrusts Hayden was applying.

  Hayden pushed her fingers in and out of the woman until she could feel her walls tightening up around her fingers.

  As Kate cried out in pleasure, Hayden drew her head up to look at the woman while she came. She breathed out at the sight. She slowly took her fingers out of Kate and climbed her way back up to Kate. She settled on top of Kate, wrapping Kate’s legs around her. She caressed her left cheek and kissed her other cheek gently.

  “You know, you’re pretty amazing yourself,” Kate breathed out.

  Chapter 17

  Hayden was helping Gabe out at the bar. She was still overly excited about the new terms of her relationship with Kate.

  “Well, it’s about time,” Gabe said.

  “Yeah, you’re right,” Hayden agreed. “It is about time.”

  “Are you going to invite her over for dinner like Mom told you to?”

  “I don’t know,” Hayden cringed. “Isn’t it too soon?”

  “Hayden, Kate’s already met Mom and she knows Dad. Dad loves her, remember?”

  “Yeah, but that was before she was my girlfriend.”

  “So weird hearing you say that,” Gabe said.

  “I know right, but in a good way!”